


Educating Him

by ImagineBeatles



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 13:55:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15535734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeatles/pseuds/ImagineBeatles
Summary: Paul and John have been dating for some time and when they decide to go  a little further John is too quick. Paul’s angry at first but then decides to teach John the magical world of foreplay and making love.





	Educating Him

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr in 2014

Paul chewed on his pencil as he tried to pay attention. It was the last class of the day and Paul couldn’t wait to see John again. They hadn’t seen each other all week! John was the only thing Paul had been able to think about all day. John had called him yesterday to ask if they could hang out after school. Paul, of course, had said “yes” immediately. He loved hanging out with John and it felt like as if they hadn’t seen each other for ages. Paul bit on his pencil even harder as he grinned at the thought of seeing John again soon.

            Paul waited by the gates. He wondered how long John was going to be. He took a drag from his cigarette and let the smoke roll around in his lungs. He looked around if anyone was looking before blowing the smoke out again. He had been caught once and had had to pay detention for one whole week. Paul found the rule of not smoking at school stupid. It didn’t make any sense. What was the worst that could happen? It wasn’t like it would kill you.  

            Suddenly Paul felt a hand on his shoulder. He dropped his cigarette in shock, thinking he was caught again.

‘Smoking is against the school rules, isn’t it Macca?’ He heard a very familiar voice ask. Paul smiled to himself before turning around with a sad look in his baby face.

‘John! That was me last one!’ He whined. John grinned at him.

‘Oh, come on. You can have one of mine.’ He said as he got a package of cigarette from the inside pocket of his leather jacket. He took two out, one for himself and one for Paul. Paul lit them up with his lighter. John parted his lips. Paul blushed as he placed the ciggy between his thin lips. John gave him a little flirtatious wink to get Paul even redder.

‘You’re cute when you’re blushing.’ He said. Paul shook his head and looked away, embarrassed.

‘No, I’m not.’ He said softly. John took a quick look around before stepping in front of Paul and placing his hands on the wall next to Paul’s face to keep him from running away. He smiled at him.

‘You are. You’re my cute, baby faced angel, whether you like it or not.’  He said. Paul blushed more heavily and tried to look away. John searched with his eyes for Paul’s and stared deep into them once he found them.

‘My Paulie…’ He whispered before slowly leaning in and placing a little kiss on Paul’s reddish, full lips. Paul’s eyes fluttered close and he placed his hands on John’s shoulder, moving into his sweet touch. He had missed the feeling of John’s gorgeous lips against his own. John smiled at him as he pulled away.

‘I’ve missed you this week.’ He spoke softly with a breathy voice. Paul caressed John’s broad shoulders with his hands as he smiled back. John place his hands on Paul’s hips.

‘Good, because I missed you too.’ Paul said. He looked down at John’s lips before looking back into his eyes seductively, making John’s already tight leather trousers feel even tighter. John nodded with his head into the direction of his home.

‘You err… Wanna get going? Mimi’s out.’ He said, hoping Paul would get the hint. He sighed in relieve as he saw a naughty smile appear on Paul’s face.

‘Sure. Why not, eh?’ he said. John smiled back at him before cupping his face in his hands and forcing his lips against Paul’s, this time with more passion. Paul moaned against them.

            John and Paul walked home quickly, wanting to be alone as soon as possible to be together as a couple. Not just friends like they pretended to be. They talked about the latest Elvis album and the new magazine with Brigitte Bardot on the cover and deciding which one of them should buy it. They weren’t really queer. They still liked birds. They really did, they just loved each other too. And Elvis of course.

‘You should buy it.’ John stated.

‘What? Why me?’ Paul asked.

‘Because I bought the last one with Elvis, so now it’s your turn.’  He said simply. Paul shook his head.

‘But this is different. This is a GIRLS magazine! I’m not buying a girls magazine.’ Paul said to his defense. He didn’t have that much money left for his month, but he wasn’t going to tell John that.

‘So? Just say that’s it’s for your girlfriend. You’ve done it before!’ John said.

‘Exactly. So you can get this one. It’s not fair if I had to buy two girls magazines and you none!’ Paul explained. John sighed.

‘And, you wouldn’t actually be lying…’ Paul said with a little wink. John smiled at him.

‘Fine… But you’ll get the next two!’ He said. Paul smiled at his little victory.

‘Thanks, Johnny.’ He said. John ruffled his hair.

‘Only for you, Macca.’

            ‘John! Where do you keep the milk? I can’t find it!’ Paul shouted to the living room. He was in the kitchen, making tea for them. John was in the living room, strumming and tuning his guitar. The sound of the guitar stopped and soon John appeared in the doorframe. Paul got his head out of the fridge and stared at him, waiting for an answer. John leaned sexily against the doorframe.

‘I don’t know. But I’ve got something else which is white and you can drink.’ John said as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Paul’s cheeks got a little red and his gaze slowly moved to the front of John’s trousers. He quickly looked up as he noticed what he exactly was checking out. John was grinning at him. Paul laughed and turned back to the fridge.

‘Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with the milk.’ He replied. John shrugged.

‘Fine, but don’t say I haven’t offered it. It’s in the back.’ He said. Paul bend a little lower and moved more into the fridge. John’s eyes moved to Paul’s sexy, round ass and he bit his lip. He quickly looked back up as Paul turned to him with the milk in his hand. He laughed as he noticed what John had been looking at.

‘Like what you see?’ he asked as he walked back to the two cups of tea. John smiled and silently walked behind him. Paul nearly dropped the milk as he felt John’s arms wrapping themselves around his waist. He smiled as he felt John’s warm breath and lips against his neck.

‘Very much…’ He whispered before he started to nibble at Paul’s ear. Paul felt himself getting hot and put the milk down.

‘John…’ Paul started but John shushed him.

‘Don’t say anything.’ He said as he pulled at Paul’s earlobe. He remembered that was one of Paul’s weak spots from the many times they had made out on the cough or bed. Paul closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip to suppress a moan.

‘Okay…’ he breathed. John smiled and moved his lips down to Paul’s neck and started to suck and lick at it. Paul threw his head back a little to give John more space. John smiled and spun him around, and continued to kiss him as he pushed him against the lower cabinets. Paul placed his hands on John’s shoulders and pulled him closer against him. He let a moan escape as he felt John’s teeth sinking down his flesh, drawing a little blood. John removed his lips from Paul’s neck and kissed his lips passionately. Paul opened his mouth and John’s tongue slipped in. Paul and John moaned as their tongues made contact. John massaged Paul’s tongue skillfully and sucked on it shortly before breaking away. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily. Paul felt his trousers tighten at the sight. He looked so beautiful and sexy.

‘Do you want to?’ John asked a little shyly. Paul blushed and looked down as he slowly nodded yes. He felt John relax. He looked up at him with innocent eyes. John caressed his cheek and kissed him lovingly as he pressed his body against Paul’s. Paul’s heart skipped a beat as he felt John’s little problem touching his own through John’s leather ones and Paul’s slacks from his uniform.

            Paul felt a little scared as the moved up the stairs to John’s bedroom as they continued to make out. He was shaking a little. He hadn’t a clue how they were going to do this. Nor how far they would go. He had tried to find out as much as was possible on gay sex, but it hadn’t been that easy. On top of that, that what he had found out scared him more than a little. Who was going to be the top? Was the first thing that shot through his mind as he felt John struggled with his tie, already undressing him. It wasn’t like he didn’t want it. He really did. And he was sure John did too. He could feel his erection press against his thigh through his jeans. The feeling made him nervous. Paul tried to calm down by thinking about the things they had already done. Before they had been dating they had wanked off together and since they got together they had wanked each other off and had been making out. Nothing much more than that. A terrifying thought shot through his head. What if they weren’t ready yet and it would turn out all wrong? What would happen then? Paul shook his head and kissed John passionately, nearly licking his throat to take his mind of things and relax. He had to relax. He knew that much.

            John pushed Paul on the bed and quickly got on top of him. Paul smiled up at him and caressed his cheek and naked chest with his fingers as John kissed him. Paul grabbed John’s open button-down shirt and pulled it off him. Paul smiled against John’s lips as he felt John’s naked, warm flesh against his fingertips. John worked quickly and took Paul’s shirt off too as he started to suck on Paul’s neck.

‘Ohh… John…’ Paul moaned as he felt his hard-on rub against John’s thigh. He was so painfully hard. He really needed some attention down there. John let his hands run over Paul’s chest to his jeans. Paul pushed his hips up a little, loving the way John was undressing him. Paul’s hands shot down too to John’s trousers and pulled them down. John groaned against Paul’s skin and gently nibbled on it, marking him.

‘John…’ Paul breathed as he felt John’s hands on his inner thighs, parting his legs. He wrapped his arms around John’s neck and pulled him up from his neck for a kiss. John obliged and kissed him back. John smiled against Paul’s mouth as he slowly moved his fingers over Paul’s hole. Paul groaned and pushed his hips up a little. John was going so  fast, but it felt so good. Suddenly the finger was gone. Paul kept his eyes closed and kissed John lovingly. He shuddered as he felt a slick finger pressing against his entrance. He tensed up and broke the kiss in slight panic. John didn’t think anything of it and licked Paul’s neck. Paul tangled his fingers into John’s hair and pulled.

‘John… Oh… wait… Ah wait…’ Paul asked him as he felt John push a little harder. John ignored him and pushed harder, slowly slipping in. Paul tensed up completely and gasped. He pulled hard at John’s hair, hoping to stop him. The feeling was too painful.

‘John, stop! No, just wait a little.’ He nearly begged.

‘Come on, Paulie. It’s all right. I know what I’m doing. You have to relax.’ John whispered into his boyfriends ear. He pushed in a little further. Paul shook his head and closed his legs, stopping John’s fingers.

‘I know… Just wait a second.’ Paul spoke as he slowly breathed in and out, trying to calm down. Why was John being so quick. Couldn’t he just enjoy it? Paul closed his eyes and sighed as he felt John’s fingers stop moving. Then he felt John move over him. Paul’s eyes shot open and stared down at him.

‘John… just wait a second, okay?’ He begged. John’s finger hurt like hell there inside him. He just needed to relax and calm down. He needed to take it slow. John was going too fast. He could not believe any girl or queer man would like this feeling. Suddenly he felt John’s hands pushing his knees apart and moved between them. Paul took a hold of John’s arm and tried to stop him. John smiled and kissed Paul as he started to move his fingers again. Paul tensed up again and broke the kiss.

‘John… please stop. Take them out. Please.’ Paul asked him. The uneasiness was too much. He needed to stop he didn’t want it like this.

‘Don’t worry, Paul. I won’t hurt you. Just relax and let me.’ John said as he let his finger slip out. Paul sighed in relieve but tensed up again as he felt something bigger pressing against his hole. He panicked and tried to push John away.

‘John, stop. Just wait a second.’ Paul said with heavy, quick breaths. John shook his head and caressed Paul’s cheek.

‘It’s fine. Trust me.’ John said as he pushed harder. Paul began to struggle hard and tried to move away. John held him tighter and pushed him down on the bed.

‘Don’t move that much. It will only hurt more.’ He said. Paul felt tears form in his eyes as he felt the head of John’s cock move in a little. The next sound he heard was a loud smack. John’s cock moved out. Paul felt a stinging pain on the palm of his left hand. He slowly opened his eyes and saw John looking down on him with a red spot on his cheek. Paul looked from his hand to John’s cheek and back again. Then it hit him. He quickly sat up and pushed John off him. John grabbed Paul’s arm. Paul looked at him. He looked angry and confused.

‘What the fuck was that, Paul?!’ He asked angrily. Paul felt a tear run down his face. John didn’t understand? Why was acting like that? Paul felt anger bowling up inside him. John didn’t care about him as long as he could get off!  

‘Fucking twat!’ he shouted at him and hit him again. John let go off him and Paul quickly stood up, got his clothes and got dressed. John moved from the bed and grabbed Paul. Paul struggled and tried to move away.

‘Don’t touch me!’ He yelled. John, now really angry, didn’t listen.

‘First you say you want it too and now this? What the fuck, Paul!’ he shouted.

‘I told you to stop, didn’t I?’ Paul shouted back.

‘Don’t go make this my fault now!’ John said angrily.

‘IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT! I can’t fucking believe you! I trusted you! I FUCKING HATE YOU!’ Paul shouted. He felt John’s grip weaken and he took his chance. He quickly twisted his wrist and John let go of him. Paul gave him one last slap on his already very red cheek before running out of the door, tears running down his own cheeks.

            Paul ran across the street. He wanted to be alone. Why hadn’t John listened to him? If he hadn’t hit him he would’ve continued. Would that have been rape? Paul felt his heart break inside him. A shivering cold spread across his body. His feet stopped running. John hadn’t cared about the way he had been feeling. But he was always so sweet when they were together. And even with other people around, the little mean things he said had always seemed like a joke. Paul had trusted him. He had told him about his pains and problems, but also his secrets, his loves and his feelings. They had been joking and fooling around. John had even showed himself to Paul too. He had let his armor down and had showed him his fears and his flaws. Had that all been an act? Had he done that all just to get into his pants? Because he thought he was good-looking and cute? Paul couldn’t believe it. John wasn’t like that. What he had seen those days whenever John had opened up to him had been the real John Lennon. The little boy who just needed someone to take him by the hand and guide him, love him. He little boy who was scared of the world around him. That was the real John. The sweet and caring, witty and clever, and even the mean and jealous John. Not the cruel man who’d do anything to get into somebodies pants. If John had wanted him just for sex, John wouldn’t have waited that long. Paul had seen him pick up girls. He was good. Paul knew he could have made him melt into his arms if he wanted to. There had been an easier way to get him to sleep with him.

            Paul sat down on the curb and staring playing with his fingers as he watched the cars, busses and kids on bikes pass by. No one looked at him. No one. Like he didn’t exist. Paul was glad. Now he could think. He remembered the look in John’s eyes after he had slapped him that first time. He had looked so confused and maybe even scared.  He had looked like a child who just got his hands slapped as he tried to touch the cake his mother had made after his older sibling had told him to eat it. Like he had no idea what he had done wrong. That would also explain his anger after he had gotten out of bed to leave. John always got angry when someone did something he didn’t understand, whenever someone hurt him or embarrassed him. And he had done all. He had seen it in his eyes. But why had he been confused? John had slept with a lot of girls and he had obviously known what to do. Even Paul had noticed that. John had been calm and had tried to comfort him. But couldn’t he understand that that was not the way Paul wanted it. Just quick in and out. He wanted to be hold by John, he wanted to feel John’s heath on his body, he wanted John to make him shudder and moan, he wanted John to be loving and sweet, he wanted him to take it slow and wanted him to enjoy everything. Everything. That included foreplay. The only foreplay they had done was getting into bed and get naked. John had immediately started to prepare him. He hadn’t even asked if he was okay with taking the ‘woman part’. Not that he didn’t. Paul wanted nothing more than John to dominate him and make him surrender to him completely. To take the lead and make him be submissive and his, while at the same time they were still equals. He loved John and he wanted to first time to be special and just right. He didn’t want all the sweet crap before it. But the sex part had to be just right. He didn’t care if it was in the backseat in a car or in John’s bed or even on the floor or on a chair. He didn’t want to romantic evening and the warm fireplace. It would be nice, but it was not at all necessary. As long as they took their time and made love to each other. As long as they could be one. As long as John made Paul his and Paul, John his. Paul wanted to feel the love John had for him and John to feel his love. Not just a quick in and out like they had almost done just a few minutes  ago.

            John sat on the bed, biting his nails. His eyes were red from the crying. Paul was mad at him. Had he read the signs wrong? No, Paul had definitely said he was okay with it. They had been fine in the kitchen and on the way up to the bed. Paul had been hard, like he had been. There was no doubt about that. He had seen it, he had felt it. You wouldn’t get hard if you didn’t want it, right? Realization struck John like lightning as he thought about how Paul had been when he had slapped him. He hadn’t been hard. Had John done something wrong? He couldn’t see what. He had taken his time with Paul, hadn’t he? He had made him wet with lube and even stretched him. He hadn’t made the mistake he had made that first time when she hadn’t been wet when he had tried to put it in. Maybe all those people he had asked had told lies. Maybe it didn’t feel good, and was the only thing Paul had felt pain. John hoped not. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Paul. His sweet Paulie. John felt tears running down his cheek again. This time he didn’t push them away. He let them roll. Why should he keep them in anyway? He had lost him. He had lost his Paul. His Paulie. His Macca. His first real love. The first one that had made his knees weak with just one simple smile and look. The first one who had listened to him and with whom he had been able to be himself. The first one with who he had let his mask down. To whom he had showed his ugly side. His first love. And now he was gone. John was certain it was over. He knew Paul. It was over. He had messed up and he didn’t even know how.

* * *

 

‘I’m home!’ Paul yelled as he walked through the door. He could hear the piano being played in the living room. He sighed, took off his shoes and coat and walked into the living room. His father, or his brother, were never to find out that he and John were having problems. To them they were just friends and friends had fights every once in a while. They wouldn’t understand how he felt.

‘Home already?’ his father asked as Paul walked into the living room, ‘I thought you would spend the afternoon at John’s.’ Paul shrugged and let himself fall on the cough.

‘Yeah, I was. We err… got into a fight.’ He said, trying not to sound to heartbroken about it. His father stood up from the piano.

‘Ah, too bad son. But those things happen. It will all be over tomorrow.’ He said.

‘I guess.’ Paul said as he bit his lip to keep tears from forming in his eyes. He stood up.

‘I think I’ll go and do my homework for next week.’ He said with a sigh. His dad nodded with a smile.

‘See, everything has a bright side.’ He said with a wink, ‘Just call him tomorrow when you both had had some time to think about it.’ Paul smiled at his dad.

‘Thanks dad.’ He said before walking out to his bedroom, he already felt a tear forming in his eye.

            Paul looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red from more crying. He scanned his face. He had to shave. Paul let his finger run over his cheeks and chin. Then his fingers moved to his neck. He felt something strange. It felt a little raw. He moved closer to the mirror and looked at the spot under his fingertip. It was a very dark red shade. He let his finger run over it. It was the place were John had bit him. His mouth went dry. He wondered what John was doing. What he was feeling. Was this just as bad for him? Paul didn’t know anymore. He hoped John was, but he wasn’t sure. He felt like he didn’t know John anymore. Like he was some kind of stranger with a familiar face. Someone you thought you could trust and you knew but turned out to be someone completely different. Paul hoped John was feeling like he was. Confused, angry, sad, lost… Paul sighed and took his fingers away. Maybe his dad was right. Maybe he should give John a call. Talk to him about what had happened. About what he thought that had happened. Paul missed John already. Normally he would go to him with these kind of problems. To who could he go now?

            John lied on the grass in the garden, as he stared up at the stars above him. Mimi was already asleep, so he had taken his chance and got out of the house. He needed to think and watching the stars move above him was the best way to do that. He needed to think about him and Paul. If there still was a him and Paul to start with. He hoped there was. He loved Paul. He truly did. He knew that now. It had ironically hit him the moment Paul had hit him and told him he hated him. Somewhere deep down he had always known, but then it had really struck him. He hated the fact that he realized it too late. It was too late. Paul was gone. Or he would be gone if John didn’t apologize. John knew that an apology alone would not be enough, though. He had to mean it. He had to know what he had done wrong. He had to explain why he had done what he had done. And he simply did not know.  

            John tried to find patterns in the stars, but his imagination failed him. All he saw was a bunch of stars. A bunch of stupid stars that did not help at all as he tried to figure out what he had done wrong or what he could say to Paul.

‘Useless dots of light!’ John groaned at them and he sat up. He had to tell Paul how he felt. There was nothing more to it. He had to tell them the truth. He had spent the whole evening thinking about them and what had happened. He still hadn’t a clue of what he had done wrong. Maybe Paul would understand and they could make up. Or at least tell him what he had done. Paul meant to world to john and John hadn’t wanted to hurt him. He had to know what he had done. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t. He loved Paul too much.

Paul looked at the photograph in his hand. George had secretly taken it with his dad’s camera. It was a photo of him and John, talking and laughing that sunny day at the docks in Blackpool. It didn’t show any of their secret relationship, they had been very careful even when there was no one around, but it had something special. There was something of an peaceful, relax, but still something of a tender tension hanging around them. John’s smile was lovely on the photo. So pure and happy and full of warmth and love. His perfect white teeth reflecting the sun of that day. Paul felt a tear run down his cheek and onto the photo. He truly missed John. They hadn’t seen each other in days and then just one thing ruined everything. All he had wanted was to fully let John know how much he loved him. And then they ruined it. They both had. Another drop fell on the photograph.

            ‘Paul? Are you okay?’ Paul heard someone ask. He was brought back into reality. He saw George sitting next to him. He looked a bit worried. Paul had totally forgotten George had been there. He quickly wiped the tears from his face.

‘Yeah. It’s just so… weird. We were doing fine and then all of a sudden he did _that_.’ Paul said, his voice sounding broken. George sighed and sat back against the wall.

‘Paul. It’s hard for me to understand, but… What did he do?’ George asked. Paul was glad he had told George. He was the only one he could trust with this. George hadn’t really freaked out when he had told him. Okay, he had nearly fainted, but that was all. No weird looks or judgments. He did sense that George felt a little awkward about it, but he at least tried to be supportive to his friend. Paul took a deep breath.

‘Well… It is a little…’ Paul wanted to warn him, but George shushed him.

‘Sexual, I know. Just tell me. I can handle it.’ He said dryly. Paul couldn’t help but laugh a little. George’s face looked so serious and unemotional.

‘What?! I’m here for you, you know.’ He said. Paul tried to stop.

‘Sorry, it’s just… your face!’ He said. George pouted and crossed his arms.

‘Well, it doesn’t really happen every day that your friend tells you he’s queer and has problems with a guy with whom he has been sleeping and is also my friend.’ He said.

‘I haven’t… I’m not…’ Paul said softly. George sighed.

‘I know… You’re not queer, it’s just John and you haven’t slept with him yet.’ He said. Paul bit his lip and played with his fingers.

‘Well… That’s the problem, really.’ He said. George’s eyes grew big.

‘Don’t tell you two have already…’ George started.

‘NO! But yesterday, we err…. We were planning too.’ Paul said shyly. George kept quiet. Paul didn’t know if he should continue or not. He decided to just go on and let it all out in the open. He needed to get is off his chest.

‘We were just… you know… fooling around and John asked if it was alright and I said ‘yes’,’ Paul told nervously, ‘Then we got in his bed and we were making out and all and John was very sweet and stuff but he was a bit quick.’

‘You are not going to tell me you’re angry because he err… came too early.’ George asked. Paul turned to him and pushed him.

‘No! Of course not! What kind of a person do you think I am?!’ Paul asked. George gave him a look.

‘Okay, you’ve got a point, but because I hadn’t told you about me and John doesn’t mean I’d act like that.’ Paul said. He took a deep breath.

‘What I mean is, that while you normally fool around in bed before you… do it properly… he was already doing that.’ Paul tried to explain without going into detail. He hoped George would get it. He really didn’t want to go into too much detail. It was all so weird. He turned to look at his friend, who just looked confused.

‘What?’ He asked, ‘I don’t get it.’

‘He just wanted to put it in! He just wanted to push his cock into me bum as quick as possible without any fucking foreplay!’ Paul explained a little angry. George blushed heavily and his eyes moved from Paul’s face down to his bum. He quickly looked back up as he caught himself looking. Paul looked a little angry. George didn’t know what to say. His mind was spinning with weird thoughts and images he had rather not seen. Ever. He’d rather seen his grandmother naked than seeing that.

‘Wow, George. Thanks for your help! It really helped.’ Paul said sarcastically after a few minutes of silence. George looked up at him in shock.

‘What did I do?’ he asked. Paul sighed and let his head rest in his hands.

‘Sorry, Georgie. I’m just a little pissed off, you know. It’s not your fault. I know this must be strange to you. I shouldn’t be mad at you.’ Paul apologized with a sigh. George moved closer to his friend and laid a hand on his shoulder. Paul turned to him. George gave him a little reassuring smile.

‘It’s okay. I know you’re upset and I really am useless right now.’ He said. Paul smiled back and laid his head on George’s shoulder. George looked down at him and wrapped an arm around his friend.

‘You know. I heard that when someone gives you a love bite, they really care about you and mark you as his so no one will ever take you from him. Because then they know that you’re his and his alone.’ George said as he saw the little red mark in Paul’s neck. Paul smiled and covered the bit with his hands, stroking it.

‘Call him.’ George said as he placed a little kiss on top of Paul’s head.

            John groaned as he heard the doorbell ringing. Couldn’t people just leave him alone? It had been two days since he had last seen Paul and Paul was still the only one he could think about. Stuart had tried to ask what was wrong all day yesterday and had been calling all afternoon. After two hours John had decided not to pick up anymore. He couldn’t believe Stuart had now actually came to his house and rang the doorbell. The lad was annoying. John would tell him to leave him alone, and he was certain Stuart would not forget it for a long time. He was done with it. With everything. He was most definitely not going to school tomorrow.

‘COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?!’ John shouted annoyed as he opened the door, expecting Stuart to stand there. Stuart wasn’t there. John’s heart sank down his chest as he saw who it was.

‘I err… I tried calling but you wouldn’t answer. I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have come. I know it’s stupid. Sorry.’ Paul said as played with the magazine in his hand. John kept quiet in shock. Paul had been the last one he had expected. _His_ Macca.

‘I err… I’ll be going, then… I’ve brought you this. I thought you might like it.’ Paul said softly as he pressed the magazine in John’s hand. John stared at it. It was the magazine with Brigitte Bardot. She looked as beautiful as always. John looked back up at Paul. He now saw how more beautiful Paul was than Brigitte. His eyes had a sad sparkle in them. The low sun gave his beautiful dark hair a nice glow and his posture looked amazing against the light of the sun. It took John’s breath away. Paul’s eyelashes were dark and long and really came out in this light. His lips and cheeks were red probably from the crying, but it made him look more beautiful than any girl, or lad, he had ever set his eyes on. John swallowed thickly as he thought how he must be looking, dark circles under his eyes, old trousers and a dirty shirt. His face tired and emotionless from the lack of sleep and shock. His hair messy and greasy. Paul turned around and started to walk away. John watched, as if he could not believe he was actually here.

            Paul hid the tears as he walked away. John hadn’t said a thing to him. He hadn’t even thanked him for the magazine. He hadn’t even said hi. He had simply just take the magazine and watched him as he walked away. He should never have listened to George. What did George know, anyway. He was just a kid. What did he know about love?

‘Paul, wait!’ Paul suddenly heard. His feet stopped, his heart sped up and he couldn’t move. He heard footsteps approaching. The first thing he felt was a trembling hand on his shoulder. He slowly looked over his shoulder.

            ‘Paul…’ John managed to say again as he felt his heart beat quickly in his chest. His head felt dizzy and he had the feeling he could faint any minute. But he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t blow it. Not again. He couldn’t bear to see Paul walk away now with a proper goodbye and never see him again. He knew that whatever it would take, he’d do it. He had to. He would do anything for Paul. As long as it made him happy.  

* * *

 

‘Paul…’ John said again. He moved his hand from Paul’s shoulder to his cheek. He caressed it sweetly with his fingers, like he needed to feel him before his mind could register he was indeed here, in front of his house. Paul slapped his hand away and turned his head.

‘Don’t touch me…’ Paul said, his voice broken. John stared at his hand. His heart ached. How could he not hold or touch the man he loved. It was mentally and physically impossible. He had missed him so. He felt so terrible. He needed Paul. He needed to hold him, to feel him close, feel his heath again his skin. He needed to hear Paul’s lovely, melodious voice whispering in his ear that it was alright and that he still loved him. Didn’t Paul understand that he was feeling just as miserable as he was, maybe even more? At least Paul knew what was going on. Their future lay in his hands. John had never felt this… There was not much he could do. Whatever he did in the end it was all up to Paul, and there was nothing John could do about it.

            ‘Paul… I’m sorry. I don’t exactly know what I did, but I know I’ve hurt you and I can’t handle that. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I can’t bear to see you’re hurt. I truly am sorry and I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you.’ John said, his voice was trembling and his breathing irregular. Paul bit his lip. He crossed his arms and stayed where he was.

‘I… Please tell me what I did. Because I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it all the time for the last two days, but I can’t… I don’t understand, Paul.’ John tried. His voice was sad and dragging. He was practically begging. Paul felt a tear run down his  cheek. He took a deep breath and turned around. John raised his hand to wipe the tear away from Paul’s face, but Paul turned his head away.

‘Don’t…’ Paul took a deep breath, ‘Let’s just go inside. I don’t want to do this here.’ Paul said, not looking John in the eye. John nodded slowly. He’d do anything for him.

            John silently followed Paul into the living room. It made Paul nervous, feeling the gaze of his eyes on his back. Paul sat down on the cough with a sigh. John stood in front of him. Paul couldn’t take it anymore. All he wanted to do was get up and wrap his arms around John, telling him how much he loved him and that he didn’t need to be afraid. He wanted to kiss the frown on his face away and make his smile again. Paul missed John’s smile. It was just so lovely. It was the most beautiful thing in the world. He wanted to see it again. He felt himself well up and he laid his face in his hands, trying to push the tears back inside. He didn’t want John to see him cry. He wasn’t here to cry. He wanted to talk. To work things out. Not cry. He wanted to make John and himself laugh again. He wanted the warm feeling back within his heart whenever John looked at him. Not the pain and the feeling of loss he felt now. Paul took a deep breath. He slowly lifted his head up again as he sensed someone was close. John was sitting on his knees in front of him. His face was full of sorrow, pain and guilt.

‘Don’t cry… Please don’t…’ John asked him, his voice sweet and soft.

‘I’m not…’ Paul answered with a crack in his  voice. John smiled weakly at him, trying to cheer him up a little, as much as possible. Paul felt that special warmth spread around his body coming from his heart. If John hadn’t stopped smiling Paul was certain he would have wrapped his arms around John’s neck and pulled him against him. Telling him he was sorry and telling him how much he loved him as he would feel John hold him tightly. He didn’t. Instead he looked down at his fingers and started playing with them.

            ‘Paul,’ John asked softly, ‘What did I do wrong? Did I hurt you?’ Paul looked up at him, his eyes big. He swallowed thickly. He knew they had to talk about it. He had been prepared to do so, but now that he had to… He felt his throat get dry.

‘Paul… Please tell me. I want to know. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. You know that, right?’ John asked. Paul felt his heart skip a beat as John said that. John cared about him. John was telling him so. And he meant it. Paul could hear it in his voice. He slowly nodded.

‘Then tell me. Tell me what it is.’ John asked again. Paul took a deep breath.

‘You… You… You didn’t… You didn’t hold me.’ Paul stammered. He looked up at John, who looked confused.

‘Paul, what are you saying?’ John asked him with a frown. Paul took a deep breath.

‘I know how this might sound, but… It is the truth.’ Paul started. John took Paul’s hands in his. Paul’s eyes grew big and he tensed up, but he didn’t take them back. It gave him just that little extra he needed to continue, the warmth of John’s skin against his own, holding him, helping him, encouraging him to go on.

‘When I can’t sleep at night, I think about us. I dream about what we’re going to do when we’re famous and rich. How we’re going to meet other famous people and how we’re going to spend our free time, playing guitar, relaxing in our houses, swimming in our swimming pool, writing songs like we do now…’ Paul said. He could see John smile in the corner of his eye. It was a good sign, that meant John had been thinking about it too. About the future. About them.

‘But I also thought about the following day, when I would see you again. I would think of things we would do and say, songs we could write and jokes we could make,’ Paul continued with a little smile on his face as well, ‘I thought about how you would kiss me when we would be alone and about how you would hold me and how I would do the same. I imagined us cuddling and watching telly, sharing the same cigarette. I imagined us strumming our guitars, writing songs about each other while pretending they weren’t. I even imagined us talking. Just talking, nothing else. Just hearing your voice and listening to your stories that made my life seem so… insignificant. I always enjoy hearing your stories. I would imagine you sitting in a chair or on the bed with your notebook, writing or drawing as I would pretend to read while I would actually be watching you. Watching you smile as you would draw or write something and it was working out. Watching you while you used me as a model for a sketch. I would imagine us kissing, slowly, sloppy, lazily, lovingly… On your bed or mine whenever our family was out so they wouldn’t find out. I would imagine us caressing each other and holding each other, wanting to feel each other as close as possible. Wanting us to become one if that was at all an option.’ Paul said, blushing slightly at his queer confessions. He felt John’s hand squeezing his, beckoning him to go on. Paul took a deep breath.

‘I was so happy when I saw you again, that day. You looked so handsome and tough. All I wanted was you to hold me close and kiss me like you did in my imagination. And you did. You made me feel unearthly happy and I’ve never felt so hot in my life. And then you asked me. I swear I could’ve fainted right there and then. I had been thinking about it for so long in the late hours in my bed. Even in the dull hours at school. Yes, it scared me, but at the same time I felt save because it was you. Just you and no one else. I thought I would be fine just because it was you, because you care about me and wouldn’t hurt me. Because you are John Winston Lennon.’ Paul told him with a sad smile as he looked up into John’s almond shaped eyes.  

‘In my imagination, you were sweet and caring, but still so dominant and passionate. In my imagination you made me completely surrender to you. You made me yours. You made me want you. You made me beg for it and made me tremble with every simple touch. I was yours completely but I was still your equal, because I knew that I made you feel the same way. Because I knew that you… that you cared for me. In my imagination you held me and teased me. You took care of me and protected me, you made me feel hot and good all over. You made me go to heaven and back as I did my best to please you as well. I… It was such a blow for me when you didn’t… When we were in bed and you undressed me immediately, when you took the role of the man without even asking if I was okay with that. It made me feel like you didn’t care about my feelings. But I told myself that it was okay, because it was you. But then… Within seconds you parted my legs and tried to enter. You have no idea how that made me feel. I was scared, I asked you to stop, but you didn’t. You… You hurt me then. Not only mentally but physically. It hurt like hell, John. I felt as if I was being ripped apart, and you just continued. I was so scared and hurt. I freaked out. I just couldn’t take it. It was too much. That’s why I was so angry and everything. I felt betrayed.  It felt as if you were someone completely different. I know it’s not fair to you to just run out without explaining and then not calling you for days. I understand how you must have felt. But… I… I couldn’t… I was so scared… First of you and then because I was afraid I would’ve lost you because of it. I felt so stupid. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, John…’ A tear ran down Paul’s face, half of relieve, half of stupidity. He buried his face in his hands and started to cry. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was all too much.

            John felt his heart break as he heard Paul’s sobs. He felt so bad and stupid. How could he have been that heartless? He felt something wet on his cheek. He wiped it away with his finger. It was a tear. He looked at his mate with hurtful and guilty eyes. He took a deep breath before moving closer to him and wrapping his arms around him. Paul was shaking and cried harder as he felt John holding him. John rocked him back and forth, soothing him as he caressed his hair.

‘It’s okay, Paul. It’s fine. Don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault.’ John whispered into his ear. Paul shook his head.

‘No! It’s not! It’s mine. I shouldn’t have acted like that.’ Paul sobbed on John’s shoulder. John held him tighter.

‘No, Paul. It’s not. It’s alright now. I should be the one to apologize. If I hadn’t done it like that, there wouldn’t be anything wrong.’ John told him, tears streaming down his own cheeks as well, falling on top of Paul’s dark, silky hair.

‘But I…’ Paul started but John stopped him. He moved back and took Paul’s head in his hands, making him look him into his eyes.

‘Don’t be sorry, Paulie. I’m the only one who should be sorry, and I am. It’s all okay now. I’m here with you. It’s all fine.’ He said. Paul nodded.

‘Okay.’ He said before letting himself fall into John’s open and save arms.

‘I love you, Macca. So much. I won’t ever leave you, even if you act like that.’ John said into Paul’s ear. Paul’s shaking stopped.

‘What did you say?’ He asked. John’s movements stopped too.

‘That I won’t ever leave you, Macca.’ He repeated. Paul moved away.

‘No,’ he said while wiping his tears away, ‘Before that.’ John smiled at him and cupped his cheek with his hand.

‘Nothing. Only that I love you…’ He said with a tender smile, ‘I love you…’ He slowly placed his lips against Paul’s forehead and kissed him sweetly. Paul blushed and held John’s wrist with his hands, he had never felt this happy in his life. John loved him. He loved him. And Paul loved him too… This was the best day of his life. The day John had told him he loved him for the first time. Paul smiled to himself. More tears fell down, but this time not of anger or sadness or loss. But of happiness.

‘I love you too, my dear and sweet Johnny.’ Paul answered him. He felt John smile against his forehead.

‘Don’t you ever leave me.’ Paul begged him as the grip on John’s wrists grew tighter. John removed his lips from Paul’s forehead.

‘Never, Macca,’ He said as he placed a little kiss on the base of Paul’s nose, ‘I love you too much…’

* * *

 

Paul giggled and looked up at John as John moved away. Paul let his hands run over John’s arms to his shoulders, massaging him there when he found them. John smiled at him.

‘So, are we okay?’  He asked. Paul nodded.

‘Yeah. We’re okay…’ he said in a dreamy voice.  John leaned in and placed his lips against Paul’s. Paul moaned against them and let his eyes flutter close.

‘Tell me you love me again?’ Paul asked as they pulled apart.

‘I love you.’ John answered with a chuckle.

‘Why didn’t you hold me like that?’ Paul asked again, his eyes slowly opening. John dropped his hands and sighed.

‘I…’John started. He had no idea how to tell him. It would sound so stupid. He felt stupid. He didn’t want to spoil the good moment.

‘I mean. You’ve been with so many girls…’ Paul said, his voice sounding a little sad. John blushed and looked shyly up at Paul. He smiled nervously.

‘I… I haven’t… Not really.’ John told him. Paul’s eyes grew big.

‘I have dated a few girls, but when we started dating I haven’t been with a girl once.’

‘You mean you haven’t had sex in more than a year?!’ Paul asked with disbelieve and secret hopefulness. John shook his head and looked down again. Paul smile widely and wrapped his arms around his neck.

‘You did that for me? You waited for me?’ Paul asked again, wanting to be certain. John looked into Paul’s hazel eyes and nodded with a shy smile. Paul heart skipped a beat and pressed his lips forcefully against John’s.

‘Thank you for waiting for me.’ Paul thanked him. John grinned cheekily.

‘Well, as long as we made out and jerked off together, it was fine.’ He said with a flirty wink.

‘I had dated a few girls before you and I were dating, but most of it was just to make you jealous. And my first time wasn’t very fantastic either.’ John continued. Paul kept quiet and listened to what he had to say.

‘I really did what you said. I only did what was necessary. The first time not even that!’ John confessed, his voice sad and shameful. Paul laid his head on John’s shoulder and kissed him sweetly. John turned his head to look at him. Paul looked adorable. He had a little smile on his face and a lovely sparkle in his eyes.

‘It’s okay,’ Paul said, ‘But you could have just told me.’ John chuckled. Paul chuckled as well, before closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of John’s arms wrapping them around him again.

            Paul and John rolled around, kissing and licking each other all over. John had never been this happy that Mimi was gone, and that meant a lot. He could feel Paul’s tongue digging down his throat. It was the best sensation ever. He held Paul tightly as he rolled over so Paul was on the ground. Paul’s fingers moved into John’s auburn hair and he pulled a little. John pulled away, afraid he had done something wrong. Paul slowly opened his eyes. He was breathing heavily.

‘Gotta breathe, mate.’ He said while laughing. John smiled down at him with relieve before kissing his cheek.

‘I’ve missed you so much.’ He said as he placed little open-mouth kisses all over Paul’s face. Paul giggled at the feeling and played with John’s hair in his hands.

‘Me too, Johnny. So badly.’ He replied, tangling their legs together. John moaned against Paul’s jaw and let his tongue run over it. Paul began to move his hips against John’s, making them both hard. John’s head shot up. He looked straight down at Paul.

‘Just relax…’ He said as he took John’s hand up and brought it to his lips.

‘But I don’t…’ John said as Paul kissed his fingertips. Paul grinned and moved up a little, moving his lips next to John’s ear.

‘I’ll teach ya.’ He whispered sexily into John’s ear. John groaned and cupped Paul’s face roughly in his hands. Paul moaned into John’s open mouth as John stuck his tongue inside his mouth. Paul’s eyes fell close as he felt John thrust his hips against his. He gripped his hair tightly.

‘That is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said.’ He heard John say against his lips. Paul grinned against John’s open mouth and licked at John’s teeth. John put his hands on the small of Paul’s back and pulled him up a little so he could roll him over. Paul shrieked in surprise and giggled against John’s neck as he laid on top of him.

‘I love you…’ He said seductively before nibbling at John’s salty skin.

            John’s head was spinning, his hands were shaking and his cock twitched as Paul slowly began to move his hands under his shirt while nibbling and moaning seductively against the crook of his neck. John was hard as rock and wanted to do nothing more than please Paul like he was pleasing him. He had no idea how Paul could make something  so simple as caressing his skin with his fingertips feel so good. It made him want more. He didn’t care what Paul would do to him or what he had to do to Paul. He’d do anything, as long as it was good for them both. This was the first time John had really thought about how the other was feeling. Maybe because Paul was a lad as well and John knew that what Paul did to him would feel good to Paul as well. Or maybe it was just because it was Paul. John’s cock twitched as he realized this was Paul who made him feel like this. That it was Paul who was removing his shirt so slowly while kissing his skin. That it was Paul’s fingers and lips on him. Not some random bird’s or his own. But Paul’s… He groaned from deep in his throat as he felt a strange feeling coming from his nipple which Paul had just pinched. It was a strange sensation he had never felt before. But it felt so good. John could only hope that he could make Paul feel as good as he was. He now understood why Paul had ran away. This was a thousand times more pleasing and incredible than what any girl had ever done to him. Than anything _he_ had ever done to himself. It was like Paul knew exactly what John was feeling. Like he was feeling the same as John felt. John lifted his upper body so Paul could drag his shirt over his head. John shuddered as he felt Paul’s lips on his chest. He felt like he was in heaven. John wondered what Paul’s lips would feel like around his shaft. He groaned again as he imagined it, Paul on his knees, sucking him deeply as he looked up at him with those big puppy eyes. He unconsciously pushed Paul’s head down. He only realized what he had been doing as he felt Paul suck on his left nipple. He closed his eyes as the pleasure spread over his entire body.

            ‘Hmm, Paul…’ John moaned as Paul stared to caress his legs through his ripped jeans, giving him a little teasingly feel of Paul’s skin once in a while. Paul looked up at John. He smiled as he saw how much John was enjoying it.

‘You like it, then?’ he asked with a little girly giggle. John opened his eyes and looked down at Paul. He ruffled his hair and beckoned him to come back up.

‘Yeah, I do…’ He said in a smooth voice before pressing his lips onto Paul’s. Paul kissed back immediately and moaned as he felt John’s hands moving under his shirt, caressing his back lovingly. John tried hard to remember every spot on Paul’s body that made Paul react in a good way. He noticed Paul liked it when he let his nail and finger run over his side and when he alternated the pressure and when he drew circles on the small of his back. Paul smiled against John’s lips.

‘Don’t think too much…’ he said as he slowly let his tongue slip between John’s wet lips, ‘You just have to follow your heart. It will guide you. Just relax.’ He told him. John let his body relax and tried not to think but just to enjoy the feeling of Paul’s finger on his chest and his on Paul’s back. It was when he heard something fall on the ground when he realised he had taken Paul’s shirt off. He smiled against Paul’s lips and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, wanting to feel him close.

            Paul felt happy in John’s warm embrace. It felt more incredible than he had ever thought it would be. John was a quick learner. And now Paul guided him and showed him what to do, it became almost natural to him. Or at least, so it felt like. Paul felt his cock tinkle as it begged of attention. But Paul wanted them to take their time and show John how good this could be. They needed to take it slow and enjoy themselves. Now it was enough for Paul to just feel John hold him and making him feel good like this. As long as John would understand.

            Paul moaned into John’s mouth as he felt John caress his nipples. His own hands slowly moved their way up to John’s obvious bulge in his pants. He felt his own cock stir as he thought about what lay beneath that piece of clothing. He couldn’t wait to see John’s face when he would lick him there. Paul grinned at the thought and opened his eyes slightly to see John’s eyes were closed. He moved one hand up and tangled his fingers into John’s auburn hair as he caressed the bit of skin just above John’s jeans, making John move his hips as he silently begged for his touch.

‘Paul…’ He panted as they broke apart. Paul looked deep into John’s eyes. What he saw there were pure signs of love and lust. It made Paul bite his lip painfully hard to keep him from creaming his pants. John slowly moved his hand down from the small of Paul’s back to his bum. He cupped it through his trousers and squeezed teasingly, making Paul’s cheeks get a cute reddish colour.

‘What is it, Johnny?’ Paul asked as he held their gaze. He rubbed the skin just besides John’s cock through his trousers, teasing him. John groaned.

‘Please… touch me… Macca…’ John panted. Paul gave him a little peck before slowly letting his index finger run over John’s bulge lightly. John groaned in pleasure and forced his lips back on Paul’s with great passion. Paul did the same movement again as he continued to play with John’s hair.

‘Ahh…’ John moaned as Paul applied more pressure and started to nibble at John’s ear. John squeezed Paul’s ass harder.

‘Do you like it?’ Paul asked, ‘Do you want more?’ John nodded heavily and threw his head back as Paul cupped him through his jeans.

‘Ohh! Fuck… Macca…’ John groaned. He thrusted his hips up as Paul massaged him while assaulting his neck. John slowly moved his hands inside his boyfriend’s trousers and briefs and cupped his bare ass. Paul groaned and moved his ass up, into John’s touch. John bit his lip as Paul removed his hand from John’s hair to unzip his jeans.

            John looked down at Paul, who was slowly dragging his jeans and underwear down. He was rock as hard and pointing up proudly as his jeans lay with their shirts on the ground next to them. He was too hard to feel embarrassed as he felt Paul’s eyes on him. He was now completely naked, but he couldn’t care less. His eyes fluttered close with pleasure as he felt Paul’s slim fingers wrapping themselves around his shaft, holding him firmly. He could hear Paul chuckle at his reactions. The next thing he felt as a pair of soft, plump lips touching his own slightly, teasingly. He took Paul’s head in his hands and pulled him closer so their lips were fully touching. He melted into Paul’s gentle, but heavenly touch of his fingers and wet lips. John thought about all those other times they had jerked each other off. It had felt so awkward and weird, especially the first time, but so good and satisfying. And this was a hundred times better. He wanted, no, needed Paul more than he ever had. Paul’s fingers were working magic as they alternated pressure while moving up and down in a teasing rhythm. It wasn’t slow, it wasn’t fast and it certainly wouldn’t make him  shoot his load. It made John irritated as well as needy. He wanted more. He needed more. On one side he wanted Paul to speed up and work on the damn thing and just make him cum already. But on the other side he wanted Paul to make him cum in a different way. Not only his hand, but his mouth.

            Paul decided he had teased John enough like this and decided to take things a little further. As much as he enjoyed the feeling of John’s hard, smooth cock pulsing in his hand, his mouth watered at the thought of other things he could do to it. He parted his lips and licked John’s lips once before kissing his way down as he continued to play with John’s erection. John moaned as Paul licked at his nipples for a bit before moving further down, licking every bit of skin on his way. Paul looked up with a naughty look as he felt some hair tickle his chin. He was there. John’s eyes were closed and Paul could see the want and eagerness on his face. He was biting his lower lip, trying to hold back the moans that were forming in his throat. Paul looked forward to his little challenge. He decided not to ask for him to let out those lustful, hoarse, animal-like moans. He decided to make him let them out. To drive him crazy with desire for more that he had to let them out. Paul teasingly licked the skin just above John’s member. John gripped at Paul’s hair and encouraged him to go further. Paul smiled to himself and gave the tip of John’s throbbing erection a little lick…

* * *

 

John’s pupils grew wide and his body shuddered at the sensational feeling of Paul’s tongue against his cock. He groaned deep from his throat and heard Paul giggle. He didn’t care. He had never known that getting you cock sucked, well licked actually, could feel that good. He had the feeling he could cum any moment. He bit his lip painfully hard to keep himself from cumming as Paul wrapped is lips around his shaft. John let himself fall completely on the bed and decided to do nothing but enjoy what Paul was doing to him.

            Paul supressed a giggle. This was weird, but good in a way. He had always wondered how it was like to give someone a blowjob ever since his first girlfriend had done it to him. Though Paul had no idea what he had to do, he did have the feeling John was enjoying it. He just followed what he thought was good and tried to think of places where he himself was sensitive. After a couple of licks and sucks Paul thought to have figured a few of John’s spots and likes out. But when John pulled his head from his cock, Paul felt his heart sink in his chest. He was scared that John hadn’t liked it and that he had read the signs wrong, but when he saw John’s big smile and the little drops of sweat on his forehead he sighed in relieve.

‘Fuck, Paul…’ He spoke breathy. Paul smiled at him. John cupped his cheek and pulled him onto his lips. Paul closed his eyes and kissed back. He let his tongue run over John’s teeth and when his lips parted and teasingly moved his tongue in and out.

‘Tease…’ John said with a grin as they broke away. Paul giggled.

‘You were the one who stopped me.’ He said. John slowly opened his eyes and looked straight into Paul’s big puppy eyes. His pupils were wide and John suddenly became aware of Paul’s crotch rubbing against his thigh.

‘Only because I want to do much more with you than just that.’ He said as he cupped Paul’s still covered ass in his hand and moved the other to the front of Paul’s jeans. Paul eyes fluttered close and he let his head rest on John’s shoulder as John began to rub him there, through his jeans, slowly, alternating the pressure like he now knew Paul liked. John placed a little kiss on Paul’s cheek as he moved his fingers to his jeans and unzipped him as he caressed his ass with his hand.

            Paul moaned as John wrapped his fingers around his cock. The feeling was so much more intense then when they had been wanking before. The soft, nearly ticklish, feeling of John’s fingers on him, touching him like  that. In a teasing, delicate and gentle manner. It made Paul’s head spin and his cock leak. He bit down at John’s shoulder as John let his finger slide over the head, spreading the precum around. John moved his lips to Paul’s earlobe and started to nibble on it as he began to move his hand up and down quickly. Paul breathed heavily and was rock hard. He didn’t know if he could last long like this. He couldn’t focus on anything else than John’s fingers on his prick. He only noticed John had been dragging his jeans down with his other hand as he felt a finger run slowly across his crack. Paul’s eyes rolled back in his head as he moaned loudly. He could feel John smile against his skin.

‘John…ah… P-Please…’ Paul asked him as he began to thrust into John’s hand. He needed John. He needed to feel him. It was too good and even though he didn’t want it to end, he had to feel John inside him. He needed to be one with him. He needed to feel John thrust into him and be connected to him. He just needed him.

‘Please what?’ john whispered into his ear. Paul groaned from both feeling John’s finger circle around his hole, and from annoyance that John didn’t just do it. He knew it had all been his idea, and it was far better than it had been before, but John could be just a tad less teasing now. It was already hard for him to breath properly, never mind talking and tell him what he wants. But he knew that John wanted him to say it, he needed to hear it, he needed Paul to tell him he needed him. He wanted to made Paul surrender to him by making him confess his perverted thoughts.

‘John… Ahh… I need… I need you.. Oh fuck…’ Paul breathed heavily. John pressed onto the head of his cock and when he twitched he let go of him. It annoyed Paul immensely. He let his fingers slide into John’s soft, auburn hair and pulled a little.

‘Please John…. Take me…’ Paul nearly begged as he rubbed his erection against John’s, making him grip his ass harder, ‘I need you… Oh fuck… make me yours…’ He heard John chuckle in his ear, probably because he was now really begging for it, rubbing against him like that. But Paul needed him so badly.

            All of a sudden Paul was being turned over so he was lying on his back. He didn’t even react until he grabbed the bed sheets and shut his eye tightly. Paul felt John’s beautiful lips move over the head over his cock. He moaned John’s name as John started to suck. Feeling his tongue wrap itself around his cock and search for the little spots that made Paul’s desire even worse, was amazing.

‘John… Ahh…. Please… I can’t…’ Paul tried to warn him. John placed a finger across Paul’s lips to shut him up. Paul parted his lips and took John’s finger in his mouth. John hummed around his cock in approval and it made Paul shudder with pleasure. Paul tried to do the same to John’s finger as he had done to his dick, but the finger disappeared to quickly from his mouth to really get to that. Paul threw his head back as he felt John’s wet finger press against his entrance.

‘Ohhh yeah…’ Paul moaned as he felt John’s finger slowly move in. It felt strange and weird, but there wasn’t that much pain as there had been before. It was still unpleasant, but he could feel some waves of pleasure come through. He slowly opened his eyes and looked straight at his boyfriend’s tender eyes. He let go of the bed sheet and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him close against him. John’s finger stopped moving as he softly placed his lips on Paul’s.

            John felt Paul relax against his lips. His soft, warm mouth opened for him and John massaged Paul’s tongue with his own. Couldn’t believe he was finally doing this. And he was calm. So calm. The feeling of Paul’s body heath against his skin was overwhelming and even paralyzing if it wasn’t for the feeling of Paul’s tightness gripping around his index finger. He slowly hovered over Paul and made sure no weight was put upon Paul’s slim body. He tangled his fingers together with Paul’s and held his hand tightly. Paul moaned against his lips and John felt himself relax. John slowly began to move his finger. He crooked it and searched inside Paul for that spot that everyone had told him about. He carefully sneaked a little look at Paul, seeing if he was okay. He was, but his face screamed uneasiness. John let his tongue dance more passionately with Paul’s to take his mind of the strange feeling as he continued his searched. When John’s finger rubbed past a little bump inside Paul, Paul threw his head back and gripped John’s hand tightly as he screamed out his name. John covered Paul’s open mouth with his and shoved his tongue down his throat to muffle Paul’s cries of pleasure. Though it sounded amazing, he had no idea what the neighbours could hear. It would be pretty bed if  they would hear Paul. John did not know what they would do, but he did know it would be bad.

Paul held John close against him by his shoulder as he kissed back with the same amount of pleasure. John felt his cock twitch and he moved his fingers inside Paul. Paul moaned in pleasure every time he hit the spot with his finger. He smiled to himself, being proud of the fact that he was the one who was making Paul like he did. That he was the reason for his muffled, girly cries. That it was his name he moaned as John added another finger. He felt Paul cling onto him. He could hear his heavy breath. John knew that Paul wouldn’t last long. He slowly let his fingers slip out of Paul and he broke the kiss. When he heard Paul whine at the loss of contact he kissed him again quickly and winked at him before searching his jeans for a condom. Paul made himself a little more comfortable on the floor as he waited for John to put the condom on. He wrapped his arms around John’s neck and pulled him down again as he saw he was finished. John caressed Paul’s sides and thighs with his hands as he kissed Paul lovingly. When John slowly moved Paul’s knees apart, Paul obliged immediately and he hooked his legs around John’s waist. John smiled against Paul’s lips as he felt Paul caress his face and play with his hair.

‘I love you.’ John said as he pulled away. Paul’s cheeks were flushed and his lips wet. He smiled up at John and massaged his shoulders.

‘I love you, too.’ He said in a dreamy voice as he pulled John back against him and locked their lips together. At the same time John moved between Paul’s legs completely and positioned himself right at his tight entrance. John broke the kiss and looked down as he slowly guided his cock to Paul’s hole. He could feel Paul’s nails dig into his skin as he slowly pushed in. John groaned loudly as he felt Paul’s tightness wrapping around him. He could feel Paul’s muscles tense up and relax again, massaging him from the inside. He looked up at Paul’s face and caressed his lovely eyes as he saw they were closed from the slight pain he was feeling. He held still.

‘Are you okay?’ He asked. Paul’s eyes slowly opened and he nodded.

‘Yeah… Just… It feels weird… it kinda hurts a little. It stings.’ He said. John caressed his lover’s cheek and pushed a little further. Paul tensed up.

‘It’s only me, Paul.’ John said as he carefully placed a kiss on Paul’s forehead. Paul smiled and nodded. John felt him relax. He could see his lips form the words as he told him it was only John over and over again in his head. John pushed in a little harder and with a little _pop_ his head was in. Paul gasped.

‘Are you okay?’ John asked. Paul nodded.

‘Yeah.. ugh…. It’s just…. Feels weird…’ He panted. John kissed him again, the corner of his mouth time.

‘Just find the spot again.’ Paul spoke with an audible uneasiness in his voice.

‘I’m not even fully in, luv.’ John said sweetly with a cute chuckle as he placed little kisses on Paul’s neck and sucked gently, but hard enough to leave yet another mark. Paul groaned.

‘Well, hurry up then It hurts.’ He ordered. John smiled against his skin as he slowly pushed in further. Paul gasped and duck his fingers deeper in John’s soft flesh.

‘Ohh Paul… You’re soo tight… ah fuck…’ John moaned as he slowly moved out only to move back in again. Paul breathed heavily next to his ear. John loved the way Paul held onto him. He clung onto him. He needed him and wanted him. He was so rough but gentle at the same time. He surrendered but still showed him how strong he was.

‘john… ahh please…’ John could hear the uneasiness in his voice. He searched for Paul’s prostate and looked for reactions for any clues. Suddenly Paul’s grip tightened eve more and he yelled out John’s name as pleasure began to take over.

‘Ohhh John! That’s it… Ahh fuck… Again… Oooh god!’ He moaned loudly. John moved his head over Paul and kissed him again as he held Paul’s legs up, to give himself a little more space. Now he had found it, he made sure to hit it with every thrust he made. John broke the kiss as he felt something wet against his face. He looked down at his sweet, fantastic lover. He saw a tear run from Paul’s eye over his cheek. It broke his heart. It was the most beautiful thing ever. He slowly licked it away and slowed down his thrusting. Paul smiled and opened his eyes.

‘I love you.’ He said, ‘And I’ll love you forever.’ John smiled back. He moved slowly in and out of Paul and he wrapped his arms around his lover, pulling him as close as possible. Paul arched his back and locked their lips together to completely close the gap between them. They both had the feeling like they would be like this forever, and even though they knew they wouldn’t, the pretended not to know in their heads. All the wanted to feel at that moment was the other’s body warmth and love. Neither thought about anything else except the other and how much he loved him. The felt invincible and on top of the world. Like no one could ever stop them. Like no one could ever break them apart. The felt as one and wanted to stay like that. And how much both them tried, it didn’t work. Soon John couldn’t hold back anymore and moved quickly, passionately, roughly, but still so lovingly in and out of his lover who was panting and making unearthly noises with every move. John couldn’t feel the pain of Paul’s nails. All he felt was Paul around him. His love, his arms, his legs. Everything. And soon Paul couldn’t keep it in any more. His body spasmed and his toes curled up. He shouted John’s name loudly as he felt his orgasm hit him. The feeling of Paul’s ass muscles clenching around his throbbing cock was enough for John to come hard inside his lover. Paul shot his loud as well and together they came for the first time like this.

John let himself fall into Paul’s arms and panted heavily. Paul kissed the top of his head and tried to catch his breath. Sweat was dripping from his face. Paul whined a little from the uneasiness as John pulled out. John kissed his lips sweetly to make him feel better. For that little period of time they had both forgotten who they were. The only thing that mattered at that moment was the other. The enjoyed each other’s presence and relaxed in each other’s arms, occasionally kissing the other. It felt unreal to either of them. They had never been so happy as now. But that moment went away as they slowly came back to their senses and realised what just had happened. John looked up at Paul and laughed as he saw he too had gotten away from his little daze. He moved up and kissed him sweetly as he caressed his hair.

‘Sorry.’ John said softly. They were sitting in front of the television in each other’s arms, with only a blanked wrapped around them. Neither of them had wanted to put on clothes so John had gotten this. They were not as much watching the telly vision but enjoying each other’s company. Paul looked up at John.

‘For what?’ he asked. John moved a few hairs away that had hung over Paul’s sweet and gentle face.

‘For what I did last Friday.’ He said softly.

‘Let’s not talk about that. It all worked out. I don’t want to think about it.’ Paul said with a little sigh as he let his head rest against John’s shoulder.

‘I do.’ John spoke. Paul kept quiet.

‘I didn’t understand what you meant and I had no idea how I was supposed to do this. I was so nervous. I just want to let you know that I’m really sorry, but that I don’t regret it.’ He said. Paul raised an eyebrow and looked up at him with confusion written all over his face.

‘Why is that?’ He asked. John smiled down at him.

‘Because if I hadn’t than we wouldn’t have experienced this. And I’m glad I have. I love you, Paul. I don’t ever want to lose you. That is also something that I had realised when we were apart this weekend. I can’t live without you. You are as much as a part of me as my nose is,’ John continued, ‘But you are the only thing that I wouldn’t want different.’ Paul smiled and caressed John’s features.

‘I love you just the way you are John. You are perfect. You’re flaws make you beautiful. Because without them you wouldn’t be you. And I love you. Not any one else.’ Paul replied. John blushed.

‘Thanks Paul.’ He said. Paul smiled sweetly.

‘No… Thank you.’

            ‘I should properly call George.’ Paul said the next day. Mimi hadn’t been home and had called around nine that evening to tell John. Paul had decided to stay over and teach John some more. Now they were sitting at the kitchen table, having breakfast and tea in John’s bathrobes. John’s was a little big on Paul, but John liked it.

‘Why is that?’ John asked. Paul opened his mouth to say something but closed it again as an expression of shock appeared on his face.

‘Paul, what is it?’ John asked again. Paul swallowed thickly.

‘I err… W-When we w-w-were uhm… apart and fighting I err… I kinda told George.’ He said. John’s jaw dropped.

‘You did what?!’ He asked, his voice a little more raised and more angry than he had liked. Paul cringed at the sound of John’s voice.

‘You told George?’ John asked again, a little softer and more shocked but less angry. Paul relaxed and slowly nodded.

‘Why?’ John asked, not getting why Paul would do that.

‘Because, he helped me! Why else?’ Paul answered a little bitchy.

‘Are you mad?’ John asked.

‘No…’ Paul said softly. He looked down at his toast.

‘What if George had gone to the police?’ John asked. Paul looked up in shock.

‘George would never…’ He started.

‘I know that, but what if… Do you have any idea what would have happened?’ John asked. Paul nodded.

‘Of course I know! I’m not stupid, John. But since I knew I could trust George I thought it would be alright.’ He said.

‘Well, I’m glad it was! But you can’t just go and tell people!’ John replied.

‘George isn’t just someone. He’s George. He’s me mate! He’s your mate, too!’ Paul shot back. John groaned in annoyance.

‘Besides. Without him I wouldn’t have gone here in the first place.’ Paul continued.

‘That might be, but still.’ John said, ‘We have to be careful. No one can find out.’ Paul looked down again and bit his lip. He knew John was right. They could never be together. Well, not really anyway. Not like a boy and a girl could. They would have to hide their love, maybe even get fake girlfriends. Especially if they would be famous someday. Paul looked up as he felt John take his hand in his.

‘Listen, Paul. I love you. I really do. Don’t ever doubt about that, but as we are both guys, what we are doing is illegal. We have to be careful.’ John explained. Paul nodded slowly.

‘Stupid, isn’t it? It shouldn’t be illegal. Why would loving someone have to be illegal.’

‘I don’t know… But it is and until it is different there is nothing more to it than hide it from the outsiders.’

‘But George isn’t an outsider!’ Paul exclaimed. John nodded and squeezed his hand.

‘I know. I just want you to understand that we have to be careful. I don’t care whether George knows or not. My point is that some people aren’t as free and opened minded as we are. They won’t understand.’ Paul heard the sad tone in his voice. He looked up at him.

‘I know…’

 John slowly stood up and walked over to his boyfriend.

‘But if the day ever comes that I could be able to hold you and love you like I could hold and love a girl, I would.’ He said as he kneeled in front of Paul.

‘John, what are you saying?’ Paul asked. John swallowed before smiling up at him.

‘I’d marry you, Paul. If the day ever comes that we could, I’ll marry you.’ He said. Paul’s eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped.

‘I love you, Paul. I don’t ever want to lose you again.’

‘I love you, too.’ Paul answered him with a tear in his eye as he wrapped his arms around John’s neck and forced his lips against John’s.

‘So much…’ Paul spoke against them. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was graciously imported from tumblr by [CJD](https://chut-je-dors.tumblr.com/) who is a good friend and overall pretty amazing. Suck it, Puck


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